we're going to be friends.

this is me, Meeli, writing my first blog.
currently i don't know why i do this and what it will bring for my future..
maybe it's better to publish my thoughts in a anonymous world. i feel save.
my little beige-colored book, with pictures of paris on it and a big P in front of the pictures - i'm not sure if it means Paris or Pearl (Pearl is what i name by boyfriend on the www) - could be a danger some time.

i'm 20. in love with this guy since september 1st last year. and diseased.
i suffer from anorexia since i was 14 or 15 years. i can't imagine the real date... it's impossible to tell a date when you're talking about a disease like this, i think.
there are good and bad days, in what way ever.
Pearl knows about my disease, but i think he doesn't really understand or realize what is going on in my head every day and sometimes even in the nights.
okay, i'm not that underweight as the people think an anorexic has to be.
a disease starts in somebodys head...

at the moment i deal with an aim of loosing 5kg in the next month.
08/08/2009 Prince and I fly to bulgaria for holidays.
and i want look gorgeous there. fu**ing gorgeous.
the next aim i try to reach is the loosing another 4kg until school starts again in august.

that's it for today.